As I’m sure you could tell by the “culture shock” post, the past week or so was a rather dark one for me. I left the conference encouraged but still asking that the Father would draw me to Himself. It is one thing to be struggling in life, it is another to be struggling and spiritually dry at the same time. I promise you it is not an enjoyable experience. My only hope of knowing that I could continue to go on here was knowing that I was running to the refuge of the Father in those low times. I asked that He would reveal himself to me and show his love for me in tangible ways – that I would be able to believe and accept it.
When we pulled back into the city last Friday, I had both a package and a letter waiting for me. The letter was from a long time friend who has an amazing way of encouraging and uplifting you and reminding you how much both she and the Father love you. I think this is my first letter from her since I got here. As I read the letter, there was a specific request in there that the Father show Himself and His love to me specifically and draw me to Himself. This friend has seen me and ALL of my junk. She lived with me during a time when my heart couldn’t have been any more broken and ugly. I was just waiting for the moment when she peaced out and told me what she really thought of me and my bad attitude. But, she never did. Instead, she steadily and continuously loved me – all of me. She is the only person in my life (aside from my parents who are parentally obligated : ) who has really seen it all and yet still willingly loved me. She showed me the Father’s love for me in a time when I was totally unable to see it anywhere else. Now, through this letter, she reminded me again that as much as she loves and accepts me just as I am – how much more does He?
After I read her letter, I opened a package from another friend and it was filled to overflowing with many things in abundance that I had mentioned would be nice. It is always nice to get those things that you ask for. The real treat was a whole host of items that she had included that I hadn’t specifically asked for. Candles, lotion, makeup – luxury items. Things I wouldn’t have bought myself had I been in America. They are certainly not necessities here, but they were so nice to receive.
Both the letter and the package were instantly tangible ways of the Father showing His love to me. Whether it was through a friend who has loved me during the good and the bad or a friend that went above and beyond meeting my needs and provided over and above what I asked for, He reminded me that he does love me and he does provide for me in ways that I don’t even ask. I’m not so sure why that is so hard for me to believe sometimes, but I bet I’m not the only one it is difficult for. I was so grateful for an answered prayer and a much needed reminder of the love that has been lavished on us.