Stuff Southern Women Say
Have y’all seen that video about the “stuff” Southern women say? If not, you can check it out here…but only if you don’t mind a little profanity and a real strong dose of Southern drawl.
I lived a real life version of that video yesterday while working in the Colquitt County canning plant – the place where people come both from in town and out in the sticks to put up vegetables for the winter. I got summoned to the canning plant by my father to help put up two bushels of green beans and I walked out of there 7 hours and 7 bushels of green beans later with quite the education on Southern women. As we sat cutting the ends off of green beans and then cutting them in bite size pieces, I got to learn all about the lives of true Southern women. It was Real Housewives of Moultrie, Southern Style.
And we’re not talking about rough ole nasty country girls. I’m talking pretty, classy women with their hair and makeup did, deep golden tans, and pretty southern drawls. That being said, these made up country girls made me feel like a dadgum yuppie. I know, I know, some of you people think I am as country as it gets, but, noooo. Compared to these women I am a farm girl wanna be. Heck, my mama doesn’t even fry chicken or make sweet tea so that automatically eliminates me from the true Southerner category.
I learned about son-in-laws, raising babies, raising daughters, raising husbands, raising bulls, shot guns, cleaning house, planning a wedding, being married, eating peas, canning food….everything a good Southern woman needs to know. All the while, we were just a hacking away at some green beans. These women talked non-stop for 7 hours and most of that time I just sat and giggled at them because they were nothing less than entertaining. The real kicker came when they started talking about snatching oak snakes out of the garden by their tail and hacking their heads off. I can do a lot of things, but I don’t do snakes. If I see a snake, you can bet your rear end I’m gonna be running in the opposite direction probably screaming profanities.
About hour number 6 when I was wishing we had finished three hours ago, I look over and one lady is cutting one green bean at a time while pausing to use hand gestures as she told her story. I was about ready to agree with that old misogynistic concept of women being seen and not heard. A little less talking and a little more cutting please ladies. This girl needs to go home.
I have a feeling I won’t be eating green beans for a while. They’ve lost a whole lot of their appeal but I gained a whole lot of culture after a day like yesterday.