As I have shown Ashley around this week and sort of oriented her to the area, I spent a lot of time talking about what got me here and how I feel about being here. More than one conversation revolved around how much I missed home, regardless of the fact that I love it here, and how much I long for all of the things that I know and love back home. I made it a point to express the fact that this is not some super spiritual joy ride that I am on. Coming to live in Africa was not what I always wanted to do with my life and was not first on my list of things to do with myself after college. Not that I didn’t want to come here or choose to come here, but just that I would have been much more comfortable, for lack of a better word, if I had stayed in America. I think that many people I work with here would say the same thing. It’s not that we don’t love it here or feel “called” here, its just that all that we know and love is back in America along with all of the comforts and luxuries and dare I say “ease” of living an American life (not that living in America doesn’t come with it’s own set of challenges)….those things are non-existent here although there are many things here that I know and love that are hard to find in America.
With all that being said, this past week we had a visitor stay in our house and as he was speaking the other night, I realized that perhaps my perspective on all of this has been a little skewed. While I viewed a lot of what I am doing here as a sacrifice and perhaps not my first choice, the truth is that it is a privilege. It is a privilege that He has saved and redeemed me and invited me on this journey. It is a privilege that He has asked me to go to the nations and promised that He would always be with me. Perhaps my time here is not quite the chore or sacrifice I often view it to be, but rather a privilege that I even have the opportunity to come and share with others who have no one else to tell them. That I get to be the bearer of good news to a people lost in layers and layers of darkness and that I have the divine – literally divine – pleasure of knowing that the Father is with me all the way is truly a privilege, not a sacrifice. It was a good reminder of the truth of my situation, not just my feelings based on circumstances.